drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
