Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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