and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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