Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize
