Do vagina's smell?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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