do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
