idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
