my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
