coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
