So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize