Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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