I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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