Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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