Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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