You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
