Me too!
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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