either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
