So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
high people should be assigned attendants
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
