I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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