Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
