Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
my god I love twenty year old dicks