Duck Duck Cougar?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches