And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
