wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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