you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
