dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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