i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
