Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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