I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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