You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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