"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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