Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
