Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
