Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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