It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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