Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
