I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
