I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I have post one night stand depression
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