So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
