ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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