She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
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FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
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