Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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