my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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