What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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