Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize