Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
We have started to decorate penises.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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