The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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