i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Too much gin, very little bucket
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
