shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
