If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
