How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?