4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize