Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(425): View more from Washington

he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.

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(313): View more from Michigan

Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

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(314): View more from Missouri

My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.

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(703): View more from Virginia

So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win

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(973): View more from New Jersey

They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.

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(209): View more from California

he laminated a picture of his dick.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.

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(509): View more from Washington

you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to

(702): View more from Nevada

It's true

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(775): View more from Nevada

yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.

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