I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?