this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
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Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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