Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(708): View more from Illinois

i effin hate jeff goldbloom.

(708): View more from Illinois

but i totally would still bang him

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(314): View more from Missouri

Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Maybe he just has a boisterous penis

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(317): View more from Indiana

I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"

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(425): View more from Washington

No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,

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(619): View more from California

I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.

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(858): View more from California

He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad

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