yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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