If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
