her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
