"it" just moved
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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