What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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