im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
