yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
