Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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