Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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