alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
