I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
foreskin is a definite game changer
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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