community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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