at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
