I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
