yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
