You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize